I wish Hurricane Katrina had just hit Bill O'Reilly. But not all of him. Just his face. Like, smack in the face, all of Hurricane Katrina, so he would have a really bad sinus problem, and he couldn't cry because his eyelids would be slapping his forehead and his tears would mix with all the rain and the storm surge and shoot back up into his head making a sopping mess out of his falafel brain. His ears would peel off like a corrugated tin roof, and his eyebrows would scrape across his head like a farmer's hoe in mud. The normal whines-n-rants would get pushed through the back of his throat and, like, out the back of his head so that the natural breeze inside his skull would now be category 4 winds clattering his teeth all around the four corners of his head thus filling the Fox studios with a high-pitched whistling and percussion version of "The Sound of Music." And I would want this to be reported live on Fox by the Fox Storm Watch Terror Attack 2005 Shouting Weatherperson in raincoat and microphone standing directly behind O'Reilly. Yeah, that's what I wish would have happened.
Bill O'Reilly: where the hurricane should have gone (via UN Dispatch)
Here's his email, by the way, in case you want to send aid donations: oreilly@foxnews.com
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