Child dialogue

I'm a big fan of child dialogue. What mystery! What humor! Children can help us examine the boundaries of meaning, take us on little trips through the imagination, welcome us into their world and allow us to play, and test our propriety. Neal Pollack seems to have a knack for sliding easily into that world.

Later, I walked into the living room. Elijah was laying on top of Regina, watching The Iron Giant for the 500th time.

"Your son just told me I had a baby in my tummy," Regina said.

"Elijah," I said. "That's not appropriate. Tell your mommy that she's beautiful."

"No," Elijah said. "You're beautiful, daddy."

"Thank you, son, but you still have to be nice to mommy."

"I told him that he had a baby in his fat ass," said Regina.

"Nice," I said.

"Daddy, I have a fat ass," Elijah said.

"No one in this house has a fat ass!" I exclaimed. "OK?"

"OK!" said my son to me. "You're a talking banana."

That was an insult I could accept. Another great moment in fatherhood had concluded. So I went away and hid in back of the house until it was time for Elijah to go to bed.