Real E-Mail from the barba de chiva Workplace

This is not from McSweeney's, sadly. Names blanked to protect the innocent. Well, as far as we know.

At last week's Staff Enrichment Day, (Friday, May 26, 2006) a series of games were provided to employees for use during the lunch break.

After the event concluded, it's been determined that a 100-piece puzzle and a Chinese Checkers Game are still outstanding.

Student Activities would very much like these missing games to be returned.

If you have any information as to the whereabouts of these items, please contact -------- in OIT at extension 2318.

Thanks in advance for your help!

"OIT," by the way, is the Office of Information Technology. You see, they're going to take that information concerning the whereabouts of Chinese Checkers and input it into a fancy computer. That computer is then going to enter into robust calculations concerning the culprit.

So watch yer back, buddy. Watch. Your. Back.