Saturday, September 09, 2006

50,000

Today we're going to reach 50,000 visitors to Phronesisaical over its lifetime. Thank you, thank you.

I'm not great at math, but I figure that since I've hit the blog maybe 30,000 times, Barba 10,000, and Flaco 5000, and Google searches for torture porn yield another 2000, that leaves 3000 visits from our five regular readers. Dudes!

The lovely and talented Lindsay, of course, was going on the other day about having hit her 2 gazillionth reader. She just "happened to notice" the milestone, she said. Blah blah blah, she said. We, however, slave over Sitemeter, examining each counter-clock tick of a visitor as a slow, dripping faucet on our phronetically-shaped foreheads, weakly poking our limp forefingers at the glowing screen in anticipation of the next unsuspecting arrival.

Here's the Master Plan. I feel a rant coming on in the short term for one thing. I mean, "alternative interrogation"!? Who thinks up this outrageous, spewing shit? Who's busy in the kitchen making dogpoop sandwiches out of it for the people's picnic?

After some ranting, we're going to try the Beta Blogger thing when I've got a little spare time. Time has been precious the past two weeks what with all the torture stuff - I'll announce the book when it comes out, and milk it. I'm hoping you five wise readers will buy it and go forth. Beta should make the site look a little better, anyway. Check out Deco - his Beta site looks nice and clean. Or Ned and his custom header job. Or check out Abbas' fancy-pantsy 3 Quarks. Ours is still the same old sloppy template I slapped onto the computer screen at 3am when I came up with the brilliantly drunken name, "Phronesisaical" (or, as everyone else says, "Phronesijfbedkhvsdhbal"). Well, we're going to put a big mango on the front. A big one. And some philosophy pictures too (I'm especially fond of a nice juicy picture of transcendental apperception). Maybe even a big picture of international affairs. And Moulin Rouge dancers. And puppies for the kids.

And then, and then, we're going to have to reveal our secret identities so that we can sell our books to you five wise readers. Then we'll have a free taco night.

50,000... damn, that's a big number. That's, like, more than eight.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Since I am the first one out of the gate to congratulate you, I would like to know if I win anything?

You are so right, 50,000 is a lot. I know it intimately because that's excatly the amount in euros I owe to my father-in-law. Poor old fool doesn't know it yet, but I have no intention to pay it back, unless I win here.

Sincerely,
Your 6th reader

helmut said...

Thanks, Number 6. Yes, the prize is your choice of fruit photo.

roxtar said...

Child molesting is such an unpleasant term. I do, however, represent a couple of folks who are so accused. I'm thinking of calling it "alternative babysitting", because that's something completely different.

troutsky said...

Perhaps "fascilitating a violent near death experience"?I called my congressman and told him I didnt support torture. He said OK. I thought of having an anti-torture march. Or i might declare Sunday No Torture Day.

Anonymous said...

"Who's busy in the kitchen making dogpoop sandwiches out of it for the people's picnic?"

I don't know, but I am sure that my 4 3/4 year old son would be happy to help.

helmut said...

How about presenting "alternative life choices" for murder?

No Torture Day. That's great! Our torturers must really need a break by this point.

C.M. Mayo said...

congrats helmut!

Anonymous said...

Hey, "Plain Jane",

This is "Fancy Pants" hoping you are not putting too much emotion into keeping track of traffic.

Looking forward to the Mango, though. (What the hell do you American's know about Mangos anyway?)

All best, as always... :-)

helmut said...

Thanks, CM. Thanks, Abbas the Chic.