Wednesday, June 06, 2007

The Paris Hilton Prison Diaries

Thirty days in jail, with my back turned to the wall
Thirty days in jail, with my back turned to the wall
Yes you know some other skinner must be kickin' in my stall

Hey mister jailer please, will you please bring me the key
Hey mister jailer, will you please sir bring me the key
I just want you to open the door, cause this ain't no place for me
- Clarence Smith / Lightnin' Hopkins, "Jailhouse Blues"

Yes, we've got the Hilton diaries, courtesy of the LA Times. Some excerpts:
DAY 1: Arrived late Sunday night. So tired. Asked if I could check into my room immediately. Quite possibly the rudest concierge I have ever met. I told him he was fired. Not the effect I'd hoped for. And no, I did not register under the name "Little Miss Whore." What kind of hotel forces you to strip and delouse (maybe Marriott?). Although instead of a robe I got a fabulous orange jumpsuit with a cute number on it. Nothing to do at night. I'm told (as there was, like, no information in my room) that there is no bar or lounge area. I wish I'd brought flats...

Day 3: So that's what a bitch slap is. Wow. Just … wow. MUST remember not to make that sarcastic face again anytime soon...

Day ??: I have stopped counting the days. I live in the now...
Lately I'm identifying with the Jews and all the horrible things that happened to them during Vietnam....

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Paris H is so zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Murky Thoughts said...

Oh, come on, she's got to know all about Holocaust history. From where else could she have acquired her ideas about appropriate body weight and proper dieting? Stripes just were not the thing in the 60's and early 70's that starving Vietnamese were wearing.

helmut said...

Same baggy pants and poor footwear. Can you see Paris in baggy pants and poor footwear? I think not! Thus, her historic martyrdom, in my humble view.