"You do whatever it takes," said Colbert. "You go beyond what's legal. You go past what's acceptable. But thanks to this new law, all that dark side is now allowed. And we know doing what's allowed is not enough."
"We are illuminating more and more of the dark side every day," Colbert continued. "It is getting harder and harder to find those things that we as Americans theoretically cannot bring ourselves to do. ... What's left that's beyond the pale? ... We shouldn't be even able to conceive of the actions necessary to win this conflict."
"I'm calling on you the heroes to imagine scenes of physical depravity and shocking illegality," he concluded. "Quickly. Before Congress legalizes them. "
Our Work Is Never Done in Aiding Those Who Commit Crimes By Legalizing Them
(yes, the tricked-out grammar is intentional)
A Nietzschean Crime