Piggybacking on the labor of the ever-funny SteveG, here are a couple of quotes by Jack Handey, whose 60th birthday Steve is celebrating. They made me laugh, and laughing is a good way to start the weekend (maybe that's why we have Saturday morning cartoons...).
"If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!"
"There should be a detective show called 'Johnny Monkey,' because every week you could have a guy say 'I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY,' but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that."
More at Steve's Philosopher's Playground.