Helmut, working from his MegaWeather 4D-25X Triangulator Station near the nation's Naval Observatory (as well as the Russian Embassy), has been feverishly working on new calculations to challenge the very foundations of meteorological predictive science for Washington, DC. Especially for budding weather reporters, the following calculation should provide you with better methods of DC weather prediction than the going models.
1. Watch the local nightly weather report the day before Winter Storm 2xxx.
2. Note the weather person's prediction (e.g., 6-10 inches of snow, 3-6 inches, etc.). Let's use the example of 6-10 inches of snow descending upon us at breakneck speed (often from North Carolina).
3. Take the lowest end of the prediction (in this example, 6 inches).
4. Divide by 2. To simplify the calculation, Helmut will do this one for you: 3 inches.
5. This will be your correct prediction over 75% of the time.
6. Go to a bar and place bets.
(A second, more complicated, method is to take the number of exclamation marks that would correspond to the weather person's stated prediction in written form. Delete them all. Add 3 inches of snow. This is your accurate prediction 80% of the time.)
UPDATE (Sunday morning):
In the case of this particular date (The Blizzard of '06), just add five inches of accumulated snow to the above carefully calibrated calculation and you've got it!
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