Oh, Werner....

The Morning News gets ahold of Herzog's diaries:

CHILD: Why do I have to give Michael back his hat?
HERZOG: Because it is his. Give it to him.
CHILD: But it’s mine.
HERZOG: Then do not give it to him. Keep it. No one cares.
CHILD: Where’s teacher?
HERZOG: If there is a God, even he does not care, but there is not a God.

CHILD: Why do I have to eat the cracker?
HERZOG: You do not have to eat the cracker.
CHILD: Teacher makes us eat the crackers.
HERZOG: I am not Teacher, I am Herzog.
CHILD: I hate crackers.
HERZOG. Herzog hates crackers too.