Monday, March 13, 2006

Hey parents, is it okay to call a kid a monkey?

A question. This is a real question. I got in trouble with my human sister for calling one of my human nieces a "little monkey." Sweetly so. I love monkeys. I love my niece. A beloved human child (who calls me Uncle [Helmut]) of some human friends calls me a monkey and I call him a monkey back (I started it). But I am told by the relative in question that, "we do not refer to others as kinds of animals in this household." Not being a parent myself, and a habitual comparer of children to monkeys, I may have crossed some speciesist line of which I am unaware with the family. Calling all utilitarians, deontologists, feminists, virtue theorists, pragmatists, and even natural law proponents! Please, help. Are not children little monkeys, even if only analogously so (and I'll include myself here (I am a precocious 12, after all - didn't know that, did you?))?

Really, I don't get it.

9 comments:

Eric Gordy said...

In principle, any amusing nickname ought to fine. But probably the parent ought to have the last word on the matter, all the same.

helmut said...

Sensible, Eric. I tend to think kids ought to be fairly free-wheeling and experimental. Teach then some structure in how they explore the world, even in those moments of free-association. They know they're not really "monkeys" or whatever else. But they're not my kids. You're right.

And yet, it seemed pretty uptight to me. But that's a family issue better left to a blog that functions like a diary.

helmut said...

That's lovely, polecat. I'll use that. Of course, it comes from the Danes, home of the rose of Muhammed pastry.

Anonymous said...

Of course they're monkeys. Except when they're punkins. Is your sister an entomologist? Because that would be really useful when it comes to identifying the bug that is apparently lodged up her ass.

barba de chiva said...

The Chiva household is shocked and saddened by this news. No parents here, either, though.

MT said...

Miss Manners and Dan Dennet say to use "little homonid."

MT said...

Sorry: "hominid" not "homonid."

helmut said...

Oh, MT, now I realize that the problem may have been that I was calling my niece a "little homomonkey."

Bobby Lightfoot said...

dude, i totally know how you feel. I called my niece a "piece of ass" once and got in no end of trouble.

Seriously. "Little Monkey" is quite all right. People need to take a deep fookin' breath yo.

Just don't call 'em a kjuiffd