Saturday, July 22, 2006

Just say "Don't Kill Me"

Avant News:
A coalition of American conservatives led by Tom DeLay, Bill Frist, Dr. James Dobson and Newt Gingrich issued yesterday the "Don't Kill Me" Canon, intended to crystallize some of the right wing's often incompatible moral imperatives into a simple, easy-to-remember catch-phrase, "Don't Kill Me"...

"It took a hell of a lot of head-scratching, but I think we've finally come up with a basic premise that everyone can agree on," Mr. Frist said. "Plus, it's simple enough that just about anyone in our base can grasp it, and you can explain it in a thirty second issue ad, both feathers in our caps."

The "Don't Kill Me" Canon reads: "It is morally acceptable to kill anyone who can expressly state 'Don't kill me'. In all other cases, it is not morally acceptable."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

A very christian attitude : life is sacred until you're able to beg for it. Thou shalt not kill, except if the victim is capable of asking for mercy.

Zombie12toes

MT said...

Hmmm.... I guess the far right thinks it's able to talk to crops and farm animals.

helmut said...

And it's a boon for amoeba. There's a pesky one near me right now demanding voting rights.

MT said...

Huh? If you hear their pleas you're entitled to antibiotics. Unless the far right included no grandfather clause for Christian Scientists?

helmut said...

Well, it's satire....

MT said...

Oh. Right. One forgets when one is on a mission from God to make every wisecrack possible. Carry on, brother.

helmut said...

Compound satire.
The anti-satire satire.
Deconstructive satire.
Po-mo satire.
Satirical compounds.
Satire.