Sunday, August 20, 2006

Country Roads of Death?

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been on the edge of my seat since Friday, waiting for the second half of this story, in which a woman was detained in an airport in West Virginia after some of her cosmetics were mistaken for explosives. Would a terror cell be exposed? Had al-Qaeda finally made it to the Blue Ridge?

Sadly, it was makeup. Even more sadlier, I had to work to learn that. No problem finding out about the potential explosives. But everybody seemed only too happy to let that lingering fear hover there.

But here was the best part of the story, or, I mean, the "really important" part:
"The story here, though, that is really important," Mr. Chertoff said, "is the system worked even at a regional airport in West Virginia."
No: fuck you, Chertoff. How--how?--is this an example of the system "working"?

More importantly: even in West Virginia? Hey, asshole, you want a backwater to showcase your achievements? How about New Orleans? Leave the Mountain State out if it, you cocksucking failure.

Barba de Chiva feels a little bit better, now.


helmut said...

Go, girl.

That was ofltoxo.

MT said...

Edagbn! (Captcha for "Amen!")

roxtar said...

Oh, it's working, alrighty. The Administration's "War of Terror", that is. The fear has spread even to West Virginia, a known hotbed of Al Qaeda sympathy. We're changing the state motto to "Montani semper vaginae" (Mountaineers are always pussies).

troutsky said...

I feel your rage, dudette.

barba de chiva said...

Funny how nobody's considering "Vaginae semper liberi."

roxtar said...

The Constitution of West Virginia, Article 2, Section 7, provides that: "The present seal of the state, with its motto ‘Montani Semper Liberi,’ shall be the great seal of the state of West Virginia, and shall be kept by the secretary of state, to be used by him, officially as directed by law."

Some state agencies, however, have adopted the gender neutral "Montani semper liber." Don't want to offend the many West Virginia latin-speaking feminists, I suppose. And while we're on the subject, is there a masculine form of "vagina"? Vaginus? Bueller? Anyone?

flaco delgado said...

Chertoff was on "All Things Considered" tonight. I don't like to beat people up for misspeaking in interviews, mainly because I'd hate to hear what I sounded like in a similar situation, but there are a couple worth repeating. Both relating to the question of "isn't there a little too much on the plate for one cabinet level agency?"

"I think the party did a good job creating the agency."

"emergency responses to terrorist activities can also transfer to natural disasters, such as a biological disaster that occured naturally."

Oh my GOD. Honey, the fucking azaleas are spewing goddam sarin gas. Quick, what does homeland security say to do now?

helmut said...

It's no longer the "government," but "The Party." Lovely.