Thursday, December 22, 2005

Ted Stevens Admits Having Easy Life

After the Senate rejected the ANWR drilling provision in the annual defense spending bill, Senator Ted Stevens made a heartfelt admission: that he has had a very, very easy, un-sad life so far. And he looks kind of old! Wow!
"This is the saddest day of my life," Stevens told senators after finally reappearing on the floor for the final debate.


helmut said...

That very remark stood out to me more than the whole event (which will be up for a vote next year in some anti-puppy-killing bill).

Why hast his God forsaketh him?

Sayeth Juliet:

"Yea noise? then I'll be brief. O
happy dagger! [snatching Romeo's dagger].

This is thy sheath [Stabs herself]; there rust, and let me die.
[Falls on Romeo's body, and dies]."

It's the only honorable thing to do.

Neil Shakespeare said...

Absolutely. Ted should commit suicide. He's let down the people of Alaska, who have come to expect their lion's share of the pork. As you say, it's the only honorable thing to do.