Thursday, August 24, 2006

It's time for a travel dresscode

"Some they handcuffed before they took them out,’" he said. "One guy was a white guy, with a tie-dyed shirt, a beard and dreadlocks. He looked like a hippie. There was an older man who appeared to be of Indian descent.’"

A few of the others had beards, and some were dressed in shalwar kameez - traditional long shirts and baggy pants, Nelson said.

Yes, travelers on a flight to India from Amsterdam looked like hippies. Passengers on the airplane became concerned about these passengers' hippie-like appearance and behavior, including inappropriate use of cellphones (modern hippies, the most suspicious of all). Air marshalls took control, the plane dumped its fuel in German airspace, asked for an escort from two F-16s, and returned to Schiphol Airport.

Folks, do not dress like hippies on air flights! In fact, as one who was pulled "randomly" out of the line on every occasion he flew for a year after 9-11, I suggest a travel dresscode for everyone. It should be one that is comfortable for flying, doesn't cause ethnic-alarm to other passengers, is not anarchist black or hippie brown-and-white, and cannot be used to conceal toenail clippers.

It is clear that the time has come for beige travel leotards.


And while you're at it, shut up. [From CM Mayo by email].


Anonymous said...

And with the dress code, also wear the caucasian skin. It'll save you and your co-passengers from so much hassle.

MT said...

Hey, I've got an idea: Every week let's post "Let's kill all the Jews" and we'll bet on how many weeks before it takes off nationally! Or gays! We can make it whatever! I call dibs on the charismatic leadership! This is so cool.

helmut said...

It has worked with torture and ticking time bombs. You may be on to something. Freedom of speech and all that.

How about an annual Final Solution Day for, simply, stuff we don't don't like. The stuff we don't like du jour.

We could start with a brussels sprouts bonfire and move on from there: gays, Jews, blacks, Muslims. Soon we'll all naturally be beige-leotard wearers, thus eliminating the costs. It's all about the costs, you know: economic first, but then the "costs to society."