Science!

We may now announce with great alacrity that the Phronesisaical Institute for Predictive Science and Holiday-Making (PIPSH) has achieved rigorous scientific results using today's most advanced scientific instruments that correlate terrorist arrests with particular dates on the Gregorian calendar by multi-angulating the variables of lunar phases, the stars, gravity and dark matter, gravitas, and chutzpah.

Major terror arrests, we predict with near-absolute certainty, shall take place in October-November 2006 and October-November 2008.

As such, we further propose a new federal holiday - "Terror Day" (other recommendations for the name are welcomed) - to take place on or around the time of Halloween every two years. We suggest a parade sponsored by the Ministry of Silly Hats. We do not, however, wish to hinder these celebrations from being enjoyed at other times during the year: State of the Union address, major political scandals, massacres, economic downturns, are some suggested dates for less formal ceremonies.

Please help us celebrate this exciting new scientific discovery!

UPDATE:

Reader MH writes in with a suggestion for "Interrogators Appreciation Day" as another new national holiday, and suggests retailers start work on their best cookie bouquets.